What was this whole thing about, you dropped like 7 different mini-verses. Well i'll just rate them...


The first one was ok, although i dragged and placed it under average, due to whack usage of word placement.

The second one was better, but recipies aren't ment to be eaten cause i've never ate paper. The multies made it flow better, but still lacked some metaphors or good similies.

Third verse was like Damn! you improved a lot from the first two verses. The flow was way better and the rhyming grew with two-or-more-word-rhymes. The first line was funny and i like the "ate your torso instead"

Fourth verse dropped down, but not too far, the first line was good and i enjoyed the nice flow and good vocab. The ending bar was the thing that dropped it so watch out cause one line could mess it all up.

Your fifth fifth one improved even more...The flow was good and the rhyming was there as well. what made it better was the methaphors "bounce like a bad check". The whole abusve bar was tight as well. The only flaw was your first bar....

keep it up and can you give me some good feefback on my O.M., pz

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Open Mics