ok lets see....what your doing good and need to work on...listeing to time to shine

flow/rhyme scheme-you took a interesting rhyme scheme on this beat.....its on point though. your flow is definatly better on the second verse. i only heard one time where i think you slipped. for the most part your flow is on point, and good.

delivery/rideing the beat- this is what is making you stand out from the other uk kids on this site, your delivery is pretty good...but when you deliver you chorus you SUCK...i mean in this song ya chrous it sounded nothin like a hook at all. this is where you need to ride the beat, put a little harmony/melody into the hook, or just swtich up ya flow. but overall ya delivery is decent ...can always be tweaked a lil....but WORK ON YOUR HOOKS.

pronounciation/breathe control- it may just be the "american heads" but most of the time i have no fuckin clue what ya saying...i find i cnat inderstand the rhymin word really. sometimes i slur my rhymin words too.....or your accent is jus fuckin with me....WORK ON PRONOUNCIATION. ....breathe control for the most part its good, jus before the hook i could hear you inhale. but mixing can fix that...

style/lyrics- alright i think its safe to say that most of us are still trying to find or build up or own unique style...your style on this track sounded original your presence and flow and overall sound sounded orginal for the most part....hmm voice, im not one of those cats who judge a track on someones voice. jus cause you dont sound like a big black guy from new york im not gonna hate ya track. voice is you ...do you.....lyrics nothin really stand out. you had a couple of good lines the leady is nice /newspaper line was coo same with the latrine or howeva you spell it line....

What to work on- HOOKS, HOOKS, HOOks, this is your downfall. learn to ride tha beat use the ups and downs of the beat for ya hook make ya voice go up and down. bring in some melody (layer ya hook with like 5 voccal tracks).....Also work On Anounciation (i bielive is the correct term)....cause if i cant understand you than im not buying ya track/ cd.....

done with indpeh critizing....

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