Voted For: Pair-A-Docks

This kids brain must be off balance....by now he feels feeble....
If this kid was a sick bird....he still couldn't be...... ILL eagle....
^^kinda forced rhyme here....OK punch though
Wow......been here since May and only nine posts...oh crap...
That means it took you 2 months just to find Bitch Slapped...
^^Lmao...Nice punch and worded beautifully
I hate to kill this kid....but it's my job....I gotta do what I gotta do...
How you think you spit hot....when a water gun spits hotta foo...
^^^A lil basic,worded good again,basic rhyme sheme
Fuck 8 bars man...I only need 5...what the fuck... 16 lines....
You need a walking stick foo....cuz I know you can't hit me blind...
^^^baah......It was Ok......
If my rhymes were a food...I swear that you'd be "biting me"...
You're just 'trash' kid...fuck your rules you really need 'recycling!
^^^Meh......Ok I guess....didn't rhyme though

Basic rhyme sheme.Good structure.Need more wordplay/metas and personals.More complextity.Best line was the 9 posts/Bitch slapped one.Made me laugh.




its ya boy illegal showin dis dude dat im not 2 be fucked wit//
i spit fire so 'beatin' me is goin b hard, like a soar dick!!//
^^ewwww......this line suked too
facin me, ibet u don'teven kno im ya father, yo//
dis dude is soft, watch as i demolish him wit a ko//
^^WOW...this rhyme was so forced...not even a punch
im spitten 2 harsh 4 u, leavin u mentally ill//
o no!, my 'brakes' not workin, watch as damage dis nigga as if he was road kill!!//
^^^NO.....this was stupuid


Ight...I got things to do so I ain't breaking down the rest of the verse as the it was the same.You had a newb structure....so get rid a that.Don't end verses with "//".Just makes it look newbish.And next time...don;t get carries away and starting talking about yourself whole verse.

Vote-Pair a docks
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http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200965