o.k firstly i think you could have expanded more on the topic and made it more interesting for the reader.....your vocab was a little simple and your rhyme scheme was too basic....i think if you had come more complex with this it would have been much more gripping.....though somehow you told the story well and this made me wanna keep on reading.....

It’s hard for someone as young as me to see them growing old
They’re so old…too old that they sometimes have no time for me

^^^these lines needed work.....your repitition of the word "old" was just filler.....
however work on all the points i've mentioned and i think your rhymes would be much more complex.........

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