View Single Post
Old 07-28-05, 12:34 PM   #18
Rile1
The Emcee Shogun
 
Posts: 500
From: Hayward, CA
IP:

nice stuff man..but u really didnt come to complex in ur vocab try writing big words and rhyming them. Also ur flow was good I liked ur structure pretty normal, but the main thing is better vocab. I usually take 10-20 minutes to write a piece with big words so im sure u can take the time too lol. Also u need to end stronger, like since u wrote about this which has been done before then u need to make everything rhyme and on point, and love and truct dont rhyme lol. But keep writing and readin you'll get better fast man keep it up-PEACE
__________________
When i vote on urs vote on mine
Me vs. Opt1k(topical..50/vote)
I do this to herbs>>
Send a message via MSN to Rile1   Reply With Quote