Voted For: MC:Philosopher

this kid here is a newbie on the wrong route
you left from war for an unestablished crew and got kicked out//
^^^^Good.....actually proved proof...Nice punch
this kid optical is more than what meets the eye
so ima punch his lights out so nobody can see this guy//
^^^c'mon....went from good....to shit
this cat heard peety pablo saw a leak and tried to freak it
your a lame cause even the society didnt want to keep u as a secret//
^^^set-up bad and punch was bah.......
u thought pen and paper was a brotha come on get it right**
Crews are not a real fam its just an internet site//
^^^Nice...but worded better....would have been better
this cats an optical illusion so dont be shock when he hit your crews town
he dont deserve respect even bozo wouldnt call him a clown//
^^^meh.........
Yea war is elevation not off the chart that’s right when u say**
But your neither one look at your record it going the wrong way//
^^^OK.................
You changed the rules u couldn’t rap in 15 like the first time
But time ran out so u need 45 minutes to rhyme//
^^meh..............OK I guess.....
This kid is over easy like eggs he just a snack
With no self esteem but not a liar he even called himself wack//
^^^NO.......bad closer

Ok...first off.....get rid of the "//" at the end of your bars.Try to word you lines better.Get some wordplay and shit.What made ya votes hit...was the personals you put and proof at bottom.

now look at this lil nigga mchilosopher/
he gay as filled wit drama like a soap opera!/
^^^U serious?
i kill mc's and i smash them dreams/
then they take personal actin all like drama queens/
^^^sayin same thing but more whack
school of hardknoks shit what ive gon through/
nigga dont me and i dont shit about you/
^^whack........
except the fact that you talk alot shit rookie/
take a good look bitch u came out wit a dick but u a pussy/
^^^wat the fuck dawg??
crooked as fuck like a crooked ass officer/
who the biggest bitch is they all say philosopher/
nigga i grew up wit no fam and ya think and assume/
nigga wait til i set up audio so called skillz will get abused/
nigga i'm coldblooded have nailed to your grave/
put you in ur coffin nigga for all the shit you say/
u a disgrace philosophy that tell ur bithcez/
grew rags to riches i'll leave yea lumpsided filled wit stitchez/

I ain't breakin down anymore of your verse as I got more battles to vote on.You were str8 up....WHACK.Get some more peronals in your shit.Add some wordplay and metaphors.And actually have something to say when ya make a verse.You were just......Lost.

Vote-Philosopher
VOTE IN LINK BELOW OR THIS VOTE WILL BE REMOVED
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=201803