my link (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=202384) drop a rhyme or critique

Obscene nerds are like European birds they don’t fly high or touch the sky like Red man and Meth did, hell I wing strong with bling on, deprived of fame still alive with name go through jive so lame shot at by glocks and gats got holes in my hat and like FIFTY CENTS
Got shot nine times while at the candy shop licking a lollipop damn! Now that pissed me off