Voted For: Premanition
Dope? Shit! you can quote that I ‘beg’ to differ..”
Down on two like ya mother, but her legs were stiffer
^^forced multi as punch sucked
Kid get a grip you couldn’t be sick if ya brains hurled
Eatin from a bin, that’s like an insight to ‘waynes world’
^^NO.......
kid don’t stress, I blame ya girl for them stretched rhymes
cos them overweight stretch lines are bound to effect minds
^^used strecthed lines too much...whack
damn just drop the act bitch and pick up your reality
you bout as much a ‘hot sauce’ as Williams was a casualty (*)
^^NO....whack
this verse will serve you with flows that ‘paste’ to impress
& you beta hope its ‘spreadable’ so you can taste the success
^^Um....ight?......
Man...ya had an ight structure and all...but the punches sucked.Had some good multis and all though some sounded forced.Get some wordplay and metaphors.
I Bomb-Geeks with Strong-Speaks that'z bound to Hit prem Harder than Concrete, son your beyond-weak...//
^^What the hell?
My "Led-Is-Wreckless" each Verse Dispersed Keepin son Dead-and-Breathless..Precision Incisions from "Head-to-Necklace" leave u "Ejectin-Breakfast"...//
ok..check this...
^^focusing too much on flow...
attack-with-a-force-above-average.. so when I pile-drive you from a mile-high you'll land-in-the-core-of-the-planet...//
^^trow a punch...
I'm labeled-as-flagrant.. watch me discard-your-jaw-bitch with a martial-arts-kick when your face lays-on-the-pavement...//
^^^ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
All of your lettering's-wasted on this veteran's-flagrance.. I'll superglue your lips and paste them to leprosy-patients...//(eww)
^^yOU NOT GONNA TROW a punch...are you?
Mc nice when he writes? Nah...bout to get Slayed twice, I'm cold enuff 2 FREEZE HIS DOME -N- punch'm in the head just to "BREAK THE ICE"...//
^^shut up about yourself and diss him.
Take his life and get RID-OF-THE-CORPSE, smack this PITIFUL-WHORE wit CRITICAL-FORCE, my 'delivery got this "Newbie Kid" hooked' like AMBILLICAL-CORDS...//
^^*sigh*...finnaly over
OK.....terrible structure.Good flow.But you seemed to focus too much on it.You had no punches.NONe.ZERO.All those lines spoke about yourself or something.Work on dissing.
Vote-Premanition
LOL
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203166