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Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, you better get tested. . .
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A - S - T- D A - S - T - D
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A - S - T- D A - S - T - D
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A - S - T- D A - S - T - D
she said she was a nice girl, thought she was a virgin
now im tryna take a piss but my dick is burnin
i cant figure out what goin on down stairs
i see little white crabs crawlin round the brown hairs
it itches, it burns, i cant figrue out whats wrong
dont wanna ask a doctor, dont want him lookin at my schlong
my girl says its normal and she gave me a cream
read the side affects "may cause wet dreams"
so my dicks burnin its itchin and im cummin as i sleep
this is just great what next my balls grow hair like a sheep?
the next day.. knock on wood.. i had hair balls below my dick
i couldnt beleive my eyes so i poked it with a stick
i was convinced that i was cursed so i went to a psychic
she took one look at my junk and said.. "haha nice dick"
as fate would have it my genitalia was green
i woke up wet as a pool.. but it was no damn dream........
they say its jus a cole sore, ima kick em out the door A-S-A-P
if she says it itches but its fine, she best get out my ride A-S-A-P
throws away my condom, says she on the pill, shes gone A-S-A-P
they say its jus a cole sore, ima kick em out the door A-S-A-P
i get out of bed and all i could say was 'oh my jesus'
my penis was covered in moldy green deseaces
i decided it was due time to visit the hospital
they took various tests and decided it wasnt possible
i had contracted every S.T.D. in their medical books
they said 'whys it so small ?' thats how it always looked
the ghonerea was third degree i was gettin burns
and the crabs were gettin hungry, started eatin my sperm
everyday it got worse.. i got blue balls and all
i was gettin no sex since my dick looked like my balls
my balls looked like fuzzy dice.. hangin from a rearview
i was so contageous you could catch it if i got near you
i was out of ideas.. i had tried every possible solution
i now had so many crabs that they wrote a constitution
they seceded from my pubes and moved up the happy trail
now i got crabs in my belly button.. im jus a crabby male
they say its jus a cole sore, ima kick em out the door A-S-A-P
if she says it itches but its fine, she best get out my ride A-S-A-P
throws away my condom, says she on the pill, shes gone A-S-A-P
they say its jus a cole sore, ima kick em out the door A-S-A-P