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Old 08-06-05, 06:32 AM   #23
Paranoid
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Posts: 3,248
From: Sask, Canada
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damn nice piece, drakel you kinda lost me with all the ion's and the vocab way to much really loses the proper word, ya know try n use witty words that are small n play around more wit em, im trying to use metas more often in my lines you should try it, dont try to be so poetic with vocab its good but it loses the flow way to much, stucture was good and flow was good. OMB that was good as well nice words nice rhyme scheme really good half of you, nice emotion good imagery from both, very good shot.

rtf in my new om Lost memories
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