Paroxysm

Excellent piece. First of all I love the concept you went with and the overall approach you took to this topic. Your writing style is captivating for it seems so simple yet has such a poetic vibe over it. The flow was good because you had rather short lines and the multies were consistent, internal rhyming blended in nicely. The vocab was on point: not too basic and not too complex either. Good creativity combined with pure emotion and strong imagery, you managed to really get inside reader's mind and keep them focused throughout the entire piece. Props...


~Lady Fiya~

Maybe not as creative as Paroxysm's approach but still worked out very nicely. The storyline you went with was interesting and allowed you to combine imagery and emotion quite easily. Which you managed very good as well, the first part was strongest on imagery where as the second part had such a pure emotion. You kept consistent with strong and insightful lines, I didn't so much feel a poetic vibe but more a serene yet at the same time powerful vibe from your piece. Made me think about some stuff throughout your lines which is always a good thing. Flow was kinda off here and there but overall okay. Vocab was on point as well.

In the end, my vote goes to Paroxysm because I felt his approach a bit more and the poetic feeling his piece had. LF, nice piece as well, good storyline so no hate...

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