Voted For: nonchalant

Kid....how do you think you gonna win writing bad rap and stuff like that...
You look FOOLISH....got Em saying, "I ain't never seen an ASS like that"...
^^^weak and basic......2/10
Kid you're all clammed up...you need to at least try to get out ya shell...
I would say that you might win...but kid there I really doubt you will...
^^^shell/will...doesn't rhyme...weak punch...2/10
You think that you can rap kid.....well guess what...I don't believe you...
Cause honestly...your lines are as stupid...as a line for a movie preview...
^^HuH?....weak.....2/10
You can't free-style....cept maybe wit ya clothes from the Goodwill...
Dogg your punches couldn't hit me.....even if I just stood still...
^^That punches can't hit/stand still is played..2/10
Don't try to throw blows my way kid.....cause ya disses I can't feel...
How ya think you'll win.......when you can't elevate past an ant hill!
^^feel/hill...doesn't rhyme...weak punch again!..2/10

Man...all your punches were weak.I see you got the structure....but aside from that...there was nothing.A lot of your rhymes didn't rhyme.Make every line rhyme.Then...your punches...they were weak.You were just stating stuff.Get some wordplay and metas and such.

Check it..i will pulverize this kid..turn his flesh into ashes
He's..runnin' out of 'shine' like a 'light bulb' that 'flashes'
^^^basic and played.....2/10
When he's playin 'basketball'..that's the only time he's 'runnin for the block'(reppin)
It's obvious he likes thing in 'twos'..so let's give pair-a-docks a pair-of-cocks
^^OMG....uncreative as fuck....1/10
It's 'funny' how he's confident battlin' me..he's a fuckin' 'joke'
Only time he fuckin' looks 'big' is if he put on two fluffy 'coats'
^^Basic....2/10
I'm new to RV..but the new kid will still eat ya
Only way he's 'toppin' me if he was 'pepperoni' and i was the 'pizza
^^meh...maybe yo best line..though still weak..4/10'
To beat me is impossible...like bein' a Pussy-AndDick(pair-a-docks)
Put this dude on a 'strawberry'..cuz i 'creamed' him and gave his ass a 'whip'
^^^PLAYed....2/10

HAd too many played lines.Flow and structure was good.Just get some more creative shit.You seemed to be saying things just because they rhyme...like that pair a docks/pair a cocks line.The best line is this whole battle was probably the pizza/toppin one.SO ya got my vote for better punches and actually rhyming in every line.

Vote-NonChalant
RTF PLEASE
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203256
^^^c'mon...i gave both of you feedback to help you improve