this was iight, nothing special....everytime u post....people tell you to fix your structure.....when you gunna do it boy?....lol no hate just askin......ur rhyme scheme was mad basic....but u did say this was old my b....so just up on ya shit for now...ad multis.....and as ur verse goes along enhance ur vocab to make it more enjoyable to read.....for structure....have each line end at the same spot for good flow and better structure.l.....rhyme scheme just think of more creative word play and get more metas and there...youll be fine 5/10...man keep postin keep elevatiing....

and possibly vote ony my battles since i was kind enough to analyze ur OLD o/m and give you more than proper feed back