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Old 08-11-05, 09:12 PM   #4
taz
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 413
From: Quincy
IP:

Voted For: Pair-A-Docks

its ya boy illegal showin dis dude dat im not 2 be fucked wit//
i spit fire so 'beatin' me is goin b hard, like a soar dick!!//
^NO PUNCH.....1/10^
facin me, ibet u don'teven kno im ya father, yo//
dis dude is soft, watch as i demolish him wit a ko//
^THIS WAS A SOFT PUNCH DIDNT HIT HARD 2/10^
im spitten 2 harsh 4 u, leavin u mentally ill//
o no!, my 'brakes' not workin, watch as damage dis nigga as if he was road kill!!//
^SELF GLORIFYING NO DISS 0/10^
takin me on is settin ur standards way 2 high, so watch me reset it//
cuz ur wak nigga, i ain't goin sugacoat shit, i guess u
culd call me lyrically diabetic!!//
^NO DISS...VERY BAD WORDPLAY.....3/10^
i have ya gurl in my bed explorin her like i am columbus//
ur notin i don't even kno why im spitten on dis//
^self glorfin ur dick riding urself 0/10^
lemme finish dis now, call da tooth fairy cause lines da only thing dis nigga bites on//
wen u accept dis challege, erbody kne u was fucked jus like some dirty porn!!//
^doesnt rhyme....not at all.......0/10^
Over all u need work on ur structure, u had no flow what so ever try getting all of the words to line up at the end of each line.Ur Rhyme scheme was so basic up the vocab and shit..as ur verse goes along makes it more interesting to read...up on that shit

This kids brain must be off balance....by now he feels feeble....
If this kid was a sick bird....he still couldn't be...... ILL eagle....
^nice opener pretty decent diss 4/10^
Wow......been here since May and only nine posts...oh crap...
That means it took you 2 months just to find Bitch Slapped...
^kinda weak not that hard hitting 3/10^
I hate to kill this kid....but it's my job....I gotta do what I gotta do...
How you think you spit hot....when a water gun spits hotta foo...
^ummm...no lol not feelin that 1/10^
Fuck 8 bars man...I only need 5...what the fuck... 16 lines....
You need a walking stick foo....cuz I know you can't hit me blind...
^ok line not a diss though kinda self glorifying 1/10^
If my rhymes were a food...I swear that you'd be "biting me"...
You're just 'trash' kid...fuck your rules you really need 'recycling!
^This right here won u the battle nice diss and good wordplay 8/10^

Overall ur structure is hott..had a nice flow, up on ur multis so u can have better verse and more enjoyable to read......up on ur disses u only had like 1 real hard hitting diss which was the only one in the battle keep it up..
AND RTF SINCE I TOOK THE TIME TO PEEP UR BATTLE
OR THIS VOTE WILL BE REMOVED