View Single Post
Old 08-13-05, 11:27 PM   #10
Sean Gunner
GG Haterz
 
Sean Gunner's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,387
IP:

Decent battle.

Solo, generic story. Emotion was nice and the imagery was pretty good. I felt as if I was in the room with the girl. I think if you had gone into a little more detail it would have been better. Vocab was a little too much for this piece in some places, but overall nicely balanced. Nothing that special in this verse.

Tweety, long read but worth it. Nothing amazing in this verse, cept your similie at the end was a nice twist. Creative take on the topic. Your vocab was good most the time, but some wording could have been better. Your usual verse. Good and sound overall, you win for a more creative take and just better rounded verse.

v-Tweety
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.