I was feelin this.

You've got imagery down pretty nice, cos I had to read through it twice to really get it. Vocab was alright, and i'll give you credit for pretty good diction. The flow reminded me a bit more of poetry than rap... Looks like you need to shorten the lines a bit to get it to flow like a track would, cos I saw the changing rhyme schemes and shit you used for flow so the length was the only thing wrong with the flow. Also maybe a few multis here and there to quicken it up a bit, but they're not necessary.

Your metaphors seemed a bit simple to me.. If you're gonna put wordplay in a verse like this, it needs to be a bit more complex so it complements the other stuff. If you know what I mean. I might just be talking crap... I do that often.

But anyway, other than those minor problems it was dope.

7/10 (thats good... im a hard marker )

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