OK....long verse...But i read it all....I like the concept of the song.Seems like a good message your tellin here.My favorite verse was the 1st one.The multis was Craaaaaaazy!!LoL.And the good thing about the multis....was that they weren't forced.The last part about the labels caring about looks and not lyrics..some real shit there.Wording stayed on point throughout the whole thing.

Now...the hook..it's good...for text.But as for using it in audio or in a song..it wouldn't work as it was too short and seemed a bit off.Try and make the hooks better.And your 1st verse was multis and then I noticed the steady decline.The 2nd verse had some multis...then the 3rd didn't have any that I recall.Try and stick to one style when making a song.And last..the vocab...but it seems you already know you need to work on that...so..get crackin.LOL

So all in all...work on hooks,keep one style/rhyme shceme for a song,and vocab.

Overall-8.8/10....tough to keep readers interested when makin a long song...but you pulled it off..nice job

RTF
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204478