WOW...this was a very unique piece.Flow was good,Vocab was good.The content was where you shined.And that ending was as unexpecting as it'd get.

Now..only problem I had was the diologue.If someone got kidnapped..wouldn't they studder or sound scared?And the girl seemed to be young as she was screaming for mommy.So..why is she talk like that?I think most of the time..when making a diologue OM..it needs to be in everyday language.I don't think someone would say "Silence you Fuckin Imbecile!!".Esspecially a kidnapper talkin to a little girl.

Overall-8/10

RTF BElOW PLEASE

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204095