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Old 08-16-05, 11:29 PM   #6
chip
pain is weakness leaving the body
 
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Posts: 754
From: 614 (Ohio)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by --{Mysteri}--
honestly i didnt like the poem because i didnt know wat you were talking about at all i guess u were in jail but you didnt make it noticed jus by talking about the bars you should have talked about the food,clothes,otha cell mates etc you could up your vocab also and ya imagery


like i said before never been to jail. i got the idea for the poem when my brother wrote me about the times he woke up and forgot where he was. i guess there are some things u never get used to. good lookin' on the feedback though. uppin'.
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
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