If it was a fake story, he'd be like 'I beat the rapist off of her, but her fifty friends came at me. Yeah, they were fucking ninjas. I back-handspringed and dropkicked one in the nuts, then ripped out his heart and choked someone to death with it by shoving it up the offensive ninja's nose. I used another ninja's hair as a rope to lasso the people approaching coming to her and tightened it so they all smacked together. Then, an anvil dropped from the sky, and knocked me out, then we all had a tea party'.

Hell, I'd believe that shit. WA-YAH! - high-kicks, and his pelvis shatters. - ...Goddammit.