Love is when you wake up seven o'clock in the morning, and you find out that you've shat all over the bed, so you scoop up some shit in your boxers and spread it on her ass so it looks like it's her fault. THen you stay with the family for a while and let everything cool down, nevermind the presents as she tries to desperately gain back your lost respect after the massive bed-splitting earthquake rumbling from your docile rectum.