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Old 08-17-05, 09:51 PM   #9
noname
Coming to Kill you All
 
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Look At You A Fuckin Wack Mental Case
Get Away, Your Makin Rv Look Like A Dicrace
^^basic punch.....3/10
just Incase, I Got My Pencil Case
In A Suit Case So I Can Earase You With An Ozzie
^^no punch....0/10
Chase The Sinnister And You'll Lose Me
Your Angry Words Just Sooth Me
Make Me Nautious And Woozy
^^terrible....wtf?...2/10
I Don't Know How I Can Get So Many Mixed Feelings
How I Love To Hate Your Voice From Squeelin,
^^stop with this voice...he neva did audio..so stf?..2/10
Or What Ever That Sound Makes
That You Make, Sometimes I make Simmilar Mistakes
Like Your Mother Having You, Or Having The Condom Break
^^Played concept...2/10
It's Time To Take A Permite Break You Little Hermit,
I Don't Want To Make You Disquraged, But Im Cashing In Your Life Insurance, Don't Worrie About Your Mother She Loves Dick And Cool Whip
^^a Mom joke?....1/10

Awful verse.get some real concepts for your punches.Stop with this basic shit.I saw no wordplay at all in that verse.As for ur structure..fix it...make it look like everyone else's one.Ur flow suked too.Work on everything.

yo, this "hollow" will really fuck up your view of the "horizon"*
my rhymes are like blinding disco lights, fucking dazaling them
^^didn't rhyme..not much of a punch..2/10
u aint no sinner, bitch ur purer than fucking holy water
your win record is like a dick all da way in a pussy, not going any farther
^^set-up was nice..but punch lacked..3/10
TheSinister, bitch ass nigga, jus give up, here is a word of advice to u from me
ur bitch ass say ur a sinner so ur from hell which means ur used to being fried repeatedly
^^meh....4/10

OK..you had less lines.Next time..use as much lines as the oppenent.flow was ite..structure was ite.Punches were mad weak.But you got the win for actually having punches.

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RTF BElow
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204478
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