Voted For: Paranoid

Intermental-Well..this was a short verse here...but I think it was still ite.Vocab was really good here.Wording was ite.Emotion was good.But imajery was destitude.U lacked that a lot.Don't focus so much of vocab next time.Imajery,wording,n emotion come first.N that 2nd bar...you rhymes the same words.Now I know your gonna say "ooh..but the words I rhymed doesn't count".Well..actually it does.This isn't poetry.It's still rap.And you can't rhyme the same words twice consecutively.Concept was meh.The usual.

Paranoid-Well...you had that same usual concept as intermental.The longer verse allowed you to describe more and imbed an image in our heads easier.Vocab was good.But the problem I saw was ur wording.Next time..you gotta make sure the words fit so that it seems to come right after another.Kinda like they were made for each other.But I;ll give you my vote due to better descriptions n the longer verse helped.But work on wording your verses better next time

NO HATE...HONEST OPINION

Vote-Paraniod
RTF
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204734