Lyrics…
You have a common rhyme scheme.. It’s decent, but I’d like to hear some more complex set ups.. This verse is basically dedicated to legends and I heard you shouting out some artists and their album names. Your vocab is pretty decent. No argument there. You didn’t go overboard on it, thank God. If you gonna use large words, just make them run smoothly in your verse.

Voice/Presence
You have an attractive voice. Presence is there, no doubt. Quality is great. Sound like you have your vocals a little to high over the beat tho, just a little.

Emotion/Delivery…
Your delivery is really good… As well as your emotion, BUT you trying a little hard to sound gully… Don’t do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Emotion is good but too much of something can be harmful. Your voice is already strong as is. Don’t overdo it!

Flow…
Don’t hold your last words to your lines so long to hit the snare. Just let the words go and follow behind each other naturally. Your lines are somewhat choppy in this verse but once you knock out some minor kinks it should be a little better.



Lyrics…
One of your strong points is the fact the imagery you have in your story. Lyrics for this track sound fine. You can get away with Dr. Suess lyrics on this one. Because your imagery stands out with the simple lyrics more than anything complex. You have some nice multis here and there. You rhyme scheme is pretty technical. It sounds un-natural and could get boring. Switch up your rhyme scheme a little better.

Voice/Presence
Presence is pretty good on this track, not as good as the other but it’s straight. And it sounds decent on this beat. Your acapella stands on top of the beat more in this song. Turn it (volume) down a little.

Emotion/Delivery…
The parts that require the more emotion are the parts that are missing it. *Slaps You!* You did a good job as the Guy yelling… But you can’t distinguish the storytelling from the characters well. You pretty much yelled the whole time offside from the chorus. Don’t force your words so much.

Flow…
You flow could be a little better… part of it sounded like you were just talking. And you would just stop and pause for a long time in the middle of your verse. Maybe you can put a few fill-in words.. Like yeah, so, then; so you can make it sound more connected.



Lyrics…
The best storyline I heard from you. You are a great writer. You used more complex multis. I like that, now you have to polish up your flow… The chorus was creative.. You gradually growing on me lyrically. Your rhyme scheme is getting less predictable, which is great.

Voice/Presence
Nice beat for the storyline and your voice. Your presence on your chorus is lower than the regular verse. *The part where you saying, “I swear I get the picture now, etc.”* It don't sound right, being so low.

Emotion/Delivery…
You controlled your delivery better.. You weren’t shouting the whole time. You used the right parts to distribute your emotion. You can work at this a little more, but it’s decent for this song. I’m feeling your chorus but the emotion can be a little better. Add some adlibs, I think that would work well for you.

Flow…
Your flow’s better on this track than the other two before. You still got it chopped up somewhat, but it sounds better as a whole.


Your flow is the prolly gonna be the first thing you should work on. It’s hard because you have the right lyrics put your flow don’t run parallel with it. I recommend you add some filler words like.. Yeah, so, then, etc. because you just stop at certain parts where it sounds like you should keep going (as I stated before). Then add some adlibs because you got the imagery already and your delivery is fine for the most part, sometimes forced.. When you feel you need to get louder or you want some meaning to stand out more, use adlibs. Because your voice is really strong as is and overdoing your delivery is the last thing you want to do with it. Just work on flow and not straining your voice for delivery.

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