Originally Posted by Drakel

meh, didn't like the overuse of one-syllable rhyming....kinda choppified the flow and took a little from the enjoyment...........BUT, it was good, i enjoyed the concept you approached, because it wasn't the typical death approach.....you broadened it, took it from a more contemplating angle.....thought provoking, as i like to call it.....hook was nice, i liked it......my advice...you don't have to rhyme every second word on a line...that's forcing it....and pushing it a little.......make it smooth....you know, complete thoughts........word, not bad though, keep up man, twas worth the read