i already won, but here's my drop....
Part I: Verdict
I sit, staring up at the ceiling, as the judge walks slowly into the room
A small man with a horrible look on his face, one of impending doom
He takes his seat, calls order, and begins giving his customary speech
The courthouse haunts my thoughts, sucking my life away like a leech
My mind strays back to yesterday, when I was still grasping a faint hope
Until the first juror said “guilty,” and it echoed six times down the row
Now I come back to reality, I’m hearing the judge call order again
He speaks: “This man before us is responsible for the deaths of two men”
I’m trying to convince myself that he’s talking about somebody else
Why was I caught this time? I’d already lived through so many hells
The judge continues: “It is my duty to sentence this man for his mistakes
Remember that he, not I, is the is responsible for the course his life takes
And to me only one punishment makes sense for such a serious violation
A life term in prison, without parole, to be served in complete isolation”
I almost cried, had he lied? My whole life for a few acts of violence?
Now it cannot be denied, I will live the rest of my life in a still silence
Part II: Confinement
My head is hung in shame as the prison guards escort me to my cell
I am too accustomed to escape for me to believe that my capture is real
Guards push me into the room, behind me the door is closed and then locked
I expect to be freed, to wake up from this nightmare that I’ve wrought
But my hopes fade away with the hours, my will to live with the days
What had made me believe without a doubt that violence always pays?
What if I never pulled the trigger, never threw the bodies into the trash?
And even if I got away, would it have been worth their lives for the cash?
I tell myself that I was right, that I could not have abandoned my crime
But I know that I wouldn’t have shot, if I could go back and change time
Now I am left by myself to contemplate, to reflect, to hate, and to unwind
The silence plays games with my sanity, drives deeper into my mind
Sometimes I am devoured by anger, but not sure who my emotions are for
Other days I’ll feel deprived of opportunities that I won’t get to explore
Weeks pass, and then months, I am still forsaken and painfully alone
Then a woman comes, she taps on the glass, and picks up the phone
I try to place a name to the familiar face, have I really forgotten so much?
Then I find myself remembering her smiles, and her laughs, and her touch
I pick up the phone, relieved, maybe she is here to take me out of my pain
I reach out to her, but only touch glass, my anguish is barely contained
Now she begins to talk to me, her voice sounds hurt, and betrayed
First she is crying, then she starts yelling, I am becoming to be afraid
Has everyone whom I once loved turned on me now that I am in prison?
I try to explain myself, to apologize, but she tells me that it can’t be undone
She slams the phone, walks away, leaving me to my mind and its tyrants
Again I am alone with my anger, my guilt, my regret, and the silence