nice piece...... do u have any aliases? Lil C(Chip), same avatar, same name of the poem i just wrote....... hmmmmmmmmmm...... i don't know who u are, but it doesn't really matter. nice poem; good structure and okay flow..... i liked the play off the 2pac song. it looks like u put commas whenever there's a pause in the flow....... i used to do that, and can tell u from experience that it makes your piece harder to read. work on your rhyme scheme (if your next piece rhymes) and u should be okay.... overall 8/10
-The Ghetto Dr. Seus, Chip

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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
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