Nice piece right here...

Good concept, I wonder who gave you that topic? Didn't expect you would've worked it out this nicely though. I'm proud of you!

The emotion was definitely there, you expressed the thoughts running through the person's mind very clearly yet the poetic vibe remained in a way. The imagery was excellent as well, you used vivid pictures to add to the overall depth of the piece. The vocabulary was on point as well, there was the right amount of complexity though it remained understandable. Story developed nicely towards the good twist at the ending.

Keep it up!

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