nice piece, had a hard time catchin the flow......... nice rhyme scheme........okay idea for a topic, although not really original......... structure iz kinda off.............. overall 7.5 usually u would get a lower score, but i gotta reapect the lyricism....... there's some stuff i've written that doesn't look like it would flow or rhyme.... i looked back at your piece and started getting it....... oh yeah, Chip told me to say hi if i saw u on here...... hi.........

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"i'm not deep, you're shallow..... rid of your women, money, power, greed, pride....... only then will you be truly free. i'm not asking you to walk on water....... just float with me."
".........you thinking i'm poor because i don't have any money, now that's rich."