I liked this peice right here.I think your style of writing is very similar to Lola-Cruz-II.Only thing is your flow is better than her's.In this peice,Ur flow was hot.My favorite bar was the 1st one cause in that 2nd line,the alliteration was dope.And alliteration is a rare thing nowadays.This peice is a great example of how internals benifit to flow.Good job.As for the content,the main concept was a 'lil cliche,but the way you did it was good enough for me.

Overall-8.9