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Old 09-24-05, 09:44 AM   #11
noname
Coming to Kill you All
 
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Voted For: Kin*Ethic™

Fuck Gram! I Brawl-Wit-A-Amounts & U Lightweight From What I Saw-In-Ya-Bouts;
Ur Record? Ill Maul-It-An-Bounce Cuz My Skills Is Passed A Gram, U Call-It-An-Ounce!!||
5...decent punch,but too much filler in here.
Ur A Pussy A Peasent-To-Daughter But Ill Son U Without The Prescense-Of-Father;
See We Can Battle Twice But U'll See 'H 2-0 In My Sig' Without Reference-To-Water!!||
5....decent..but I seen this concept before on B-Boys,so this wasn't that original.
Punchlines? Ya I Got Plenty-To-Rip That Will Drop Holo As Quick As I Empty-The-Clip;
What Ya Sent-Me-Is-Shit Cuz Ill 'Cruise Passed Wat I Just Red, Sea' So Ready-The-Ship!!||
4....multis were forced in this,punch wasn't that hard.

I |Mold-Workins-& Blast-Reps| Of Gay Pussy'd Dick Faggots Since |Dim-Attackers-Of-Sex| .. Im The |Grim-Rapper-Of-Text| So Watch As Punches Make 'Gram, Pause' & Kneel Before Death Like The Action Of An |Old-Persons-Last-Breath!!| (Grampas
3...gram-pause/grandpa?..that wordplay is forced,INDEED,

i know i suck wit da rappin skillz,but ima try ta merk-you//
so imma make ya Death Come Soon like a Minors Curfew//
1...minor curfew doesn't kill,and why would you say you suck at rapping?AND,never say "I'll try to merk you",say I will merk you.U dissed yourself and made sence in this bar.
ya barz iz trash like mine,so dont think u iller//
and playin RainBow 6 da only way u a killer//
2...this concept with video game/killer is played.And again,you called yourself trash,so you dissed yourself.
yeah,i know i need practice...but u should do da same//
cuz wit ya flow,u'll never be a *(Star) like da one in ya name//
2....decent concept with the star/name,but you executed it wrong.And AGAIN,you say u need practice,so you dissed yourself again.
most of these rap verse cats is cocky,but spit sloppy//
u bust guns? naw,my face on a Balloon da only way u'd pop me//
2...balloon/pop shit is played.
listen scrap,hopefully u show and start spitten back//
cuz im relaxed wit this verse like sitten back//
0....you didn't diss him,therefore,it is not a punch.

OK..honestly,I didn't find neither verses to be hot.
Kin-ethic...
My advice,fix your structure.Don't put some much bolding and italics in your shit.Just makes it look fucked up.And i used to explain punches as well when i first started rappin.My advice...don't do it.A lot of people don't like it.And don't use some much filler...it weakens the punch.
Hologram...
I don't know wat you were trying to do.Were you making a diss to Kinethic..or yourself?Cuz every bar,aside from the last one,had a line that dissed yourself.U said u sucked with rappin skillz,then u said ya barz are trash,then you said u need practice.WTF?

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