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1926
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IP:
This Was Very Basic.
It Had Some Emotion, But Nothing To Presentable.
It Had NO Imagery, Except Maybe 'The Bell Goes Off'
... I Mean This Really Lacked Everything To Be Concidered A Nice Poetry Drop.
It Seems Like You Spent Little To Know Time On This.
Next Time You Should Really Work On Imagery The Most,
The Emotion You Had Is Sufficient And Will Get You By If It's Backed By Nice Imagery.
Things Like Metaphors, Similies, Descriptive Speach
... Any Of That Could Have Helped This Piece Alot.
Also, Tryn Make Your Next Piece Longer.
This Was A Very Brief Little Poem Here.
Really Just Set Your Heart And Mind Free On The Page,
If You Force Material It's Always Going To Seem Artificial Or Weak.
I'll Check The Next One You Drop Though,
Maybe This Was Just A Quick Write Or Something.
Stay Up And Keep Elevating Man.
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