It's more of an emotional outlet than a poem you put a lot of thought in like you said yourself. But it doesn't mean it's bad though, you have different types of poems and this is just one of those which aren't meant to be good or nice or win prizes with. This is something you wrote down to vent, to say what you feeling.

Yes, you need to add more imagery, better images and such.
Yes, your emotion needs different wordings, more poetic elements in it.
Yes, some things did not make much sense

But no, it wasn't a shitty poem because it was written from experience and from the heart. And I know you're capable of writing far better things, this was just an outlet and it shows.

I wish i would die, but i'm not in the mood
^I loved this line because it expresses what many people have been through...

__________________