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Old 10-13-05, 04:31 PM   #4
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
Posts: 5,019
From: Boston
IP:

ok ur my boy blue!

ok check this...make your lines shorter and flow better...get a better choice of words...so it flows better...use bigger words and vocabulary....maybe incorporate multis if you want...your emotion was incorporated...and u need to work on imagery..u have potential but still have a whole lot of elevation to do...rtf on my sig link....1
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