OK...
first off,I liked the concept of the song..really creative.So good job on that.
BUT..too many parts went over my head.I dunno if it was the big words..or the way u describe ya shit(or maybe me being stupid)..but it was mad complex.TOO complex,in my opinion.

but then again...this IS your style...so I can't just tell you to change it..cos that ain't right.But that's just my personal opinion on the shit.

And another one of ya problems...FLOW.Ur flow was off.Shorten ur lines up..put ya internal rhymin in better places...Cause honestly...ur flow...was bad.

Well...that's my opinion....

RTF....here...
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ewpost&t=209572

or...if ya too lazy for that^...I got an OM diss to Mystic Chaos...w/e u want.
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ewpost&t=209018