Actually mystic,I think that gladbag nigga is correct.
This isn't rap....this is more like poetry.

And just becuz it has a rhyming word at the end...that doesn't mean it's rap automatically.
Your shit had a choppy(sometime none) flow from start to finish.

"Fastly realizing Ive been entraped under water for quite some time
Uncle will be waiting, I shall awake him with the astonishing news of mine"

^that is stretched.....try rappin that aloud or over a beat...it won't flow.
Seems like u neglected flow when writing this.

Thus...leaving you with a poetic peice.

As for the content...I can't really critique on it...it was "Poetic" as well.Just like I told daemon..it's your style..so I ain't gonna tell you to change it,cus that ain't right.But my personal opinion...is that the complexity is overwelming.

I,personally, was never a fan of "shakespearish" peices where u focused on vocab and complexity.

So yea....that's my feedback...take it however you want/

RTF on sumtin if ya want...maybe my battle wit lotty or w/e...don't matter.

~1~