lmao thats not feed


ok your structure is goood...though your flow is not...you have some cheap vocabulary...i be you dont even know wut the words mean...cuz you throw big words in there that dont even flow good at all... try making your imagery more vivid....and your emotion more enthusiastic you had potential in the beginning then you just dove into the dirt....try and come to a conclusion that is as powerfull at the beginning dont just die out at the end......overall 5/10 man progressin from the other ones.....rtf in sig!!!

__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME