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Old 10-30-05, 03:13 AM   #9
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
IP:

Excellent piece, high level of complexity in it as well. Your vocabulary was dead on in fact. Overall pace needs some work though, some lines were bit stretched you know but that's no big deal basically. The emotion was definitely there, no doubt bout it. You wrote it as if you were writing something for a novel or short story in my opinion. I loved it, the imagery was intruiging as well.

Props
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