Im new but this was very nicely done! i was feeling the concept and the comedy aspects as in you said trying to be smoothe and getting laughed at! weve all been there lol!

i think this was very creative your strengths are that you can keep the story and the message going nicely
your only weakness i can see is that i think you need to try and use multies more!

other than that keep up the hot oms i was feelin it a lot!