this started really good but kinda fell off.imagery was great but you hurt it a little by sacrificing it for flow and too many multis here.you kinda through too much toghther in certain areas to where it became a little difficult to follow.you did get your point accross though and came nicely in all other areas only thing besides that i can suggest is using more metaphores to bring a deeper image to your work.nice drop 7.5/10
please rtf on one of my open mics

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