I like this right here it was really good. Nice multies and nice flow. I wont critique ur structure cuz i think everyone sees it differently in their own opinion. But if u can read it nice then its all good. My favorite line was:

Funny how kids playin on the net...pretendin to be rap vets
actin like they got a fuckin gift?...HA! Y'all can't even [w]RAP YET!
It's ya boy from the mack-set...buck.marley, smokin you herbs!
now you know why my rhymes kill cliches such as..ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDZ!

^^loved that really nice way to end the piece. Overall i'd give it a 9/10. Good job man, keep it up. Pls RTF on Runnin' or Shadows. Links are in my sig.