Voted For: Cdusit

Ok

Cdusit

never thought id battle a kid who hasnt posted ten times
this battles unreal ....like dudes got pretend rhymes
- Weak
his first time on the frontlines..but name states war
Im controlling his outcome....like a position in saw
- Eh...
The decision is raw im submitting his gore kids hitting th floor
War needs more support in this battle like double D's
- Ok but basic
Unsure why he even stepped up maybe newbs like defeat
maybe he likes to be left behind like a bikers seat
- Eh...could have worded this much better
like repeat this feels like a case of de ja vu
cause not even ya alias voting ring could com thru
- Nah...

Not a strong verse, some lines were ok and others I could see what you were trying to do...but you need to diss your opponent more and be more clear in your disses as well as word them better...You can improve in this area if you keep trying, otherwise the rhyming was good and flow was fine as well...good structure to the verse as well


allik war

lintroduction:

:referree clears throat:
excuse me son u think this daycare,
u knew 2 da game nigga i dont care,
jus spit yo 16 nigga n challenge if u dare,
so if ya in da wrong room please exit there//

- WHAT? Glad the intro is over and done with....

i shatter punchlinewhen i push up when its crunch time,
i give lines meaning n life but through my pain n strife,
- Your not dissing the opponent or attempting to
ya soon 2 be wife and dis game is mine,
my system of words blocks competition,
- Your gonna marry him?
like ya corner gas station atm reciept reads declined,
im inclined,2 b on da grind//
- Where are the punchlines?

spittin venemous verses,leavin ya cursin,
go beserk,while im jerkin ya girls bra strap,stop put down da gun son rememba this only rap//
- Eh?

no seriously,its not dat serious its flow,i know ya gettin delirious,im fearless,but by da end evryone on here but u will b tearless!//
- And?

lil rusty gotta wake my immagination up...or was my twin?
- What?


Are you sure frontlines is for you? where to start...

Ok, I have no idea if you are new but it seems like it...you need to do better than that, to improve you will need to try and diss the opponent rather than talk about yourself...remember this is a BATTLE

Just make your lines witty, try dissing by looking at what other more experienced battlers do....have a structure to your verse, and use personals to attack....always try to be witty with your lines man...

You got a lot of improvement to do, but you got to start somewhere....


Cdusit won this no doubt.......

And vote honestly on mine
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=216087

Peace