Banned: Biting
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IP:
Well.
To start with I think you could of done more with the topic. But as you said this is your first poem.
Then as I began to read, the lines didnt flow well (due to syllable count being completely wrong, im guessing) this made the rhymes seem forced. But again, as you said its your first poem.
I guess this was alright for a first.
Just keep writing and suff.
Pz
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