View Single Post
Old 12-27-05, 12:58 AM   #24
Sean Gunner
GG Haterz
 
Sean Gunner's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,387
IP:

Daubs
LOL, il murder your looks, but they already look so funny
News Just In: DISNEY FOUND A BLACK VERSION OFF BUGGS BUNNY
Nah. Not working.
problem child suits cool, cant denie it, your lovin' queers
cos theres a problem when your TEETH are bigger than your EARS
Poorly worded, and a gay set up? Come on Daubs.
fuck chocolate and dairy, you need to diet you whored bitch
cause your putting on weight...by just chewing your lips!
Haha, this was decent.
top of ya game, certificates and glory..stop actin dopey
since when did chess games even start providing trophys?!
They always have. Bad punch and probably fake personal.
Fuck what you heard, you aint pro, your fakin your dreams
Cause simeon says..
take the fuckin shirt off, your a disgrace to the team!
Best line, ok play of his shirt, poor wording.

Your verse was kind of a disappointment. Usually you have very funny punchlines, but you only had one. Work on actually trying next time.

Young Law
DAUBS.....I hope your talented, cuz you cant get by on ya looks
nobodys gonna take you seriously as a rapper...you look like fake ass garth brooks
Could have hit much harder, but your wording absolutely killed it. 'How are we supposed to take you seriously rapping, Brooks?' Or somethin like that.
come on danny, get a new hobby, this just isnt working out to well
your as gangsta as elton john cumin straight outta jail
No. Just no.
fuck outta here, go back to councilin fa chronic masturebation
witcha e-thug ass, still can't get tipsy wit fake identification
Fake personal set up, real personal play was ok.
you what 18, yet you still gettin murked by a minor....how pathetic
ill call you BUFU, cuz we all know ya whole style is generic
Bad personal. Daubs is only 16 or somethin.
fuck the votes just eliminate this nigga now...its a waste of time
call me Shang Tsung, cuz i just finished him HIS SOUL IS MINE!
Self glorification and no punch.

Basically, you didn't have ish in this verse. Your last bar wasn't even a punch. Your concepts were better, but your wording made the punches horrible. Work on switching up the words.

v-Daubs
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
  Reply With Quote