This is nice man. You've got a very strong flow to your writing that just rolls of the tongue brilliantly. The content was nice aswell... Athough it's been done time and time again I think your almost, poetic description, really brought this piece to an unseen level.

The only thing that I didnt really like was the structure. Its to me just a mass of words when I look at it. This could have done better had it been cut into two individual verses, and had you aplied some shorter lines.

Nice job man, and please return the favor on my new OM, "The Lone Chair".