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Old 12-30-05, 04:36 AM   #6
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
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This piece has quite some potential but being that it's your first poem, it's understandable that you did not use it to the fullest in fact. I did like how you built it up because a sense of mystery was always present. The wordings and vocabulary was suitable, it might have been little different or complex here and there but overall, you made good choices. The cadence and sound expressions need some work but that will come as you write more. I like the images you were using, nice stuff especially for a first poem.

Keep it up
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