DAMN at the rhyming concept u defintly a good lyricist
but u need a lil more experience u want feed here it is
nuthin bout it is fictional but try ta be more original
this was pacs idea, try ta be a lil more of a leada
but oh well what the hell u dope at this i can tell
this aint really fake or pretend id give this a 8/10
use this advice i gave ya and keep it up playa

lol yea that right i rapped out ur feed .....but im DEFITNLY feeling this i think this the best o.m i read i aint even bullshittin u..everybody else on here either fronts, is really wack wit lyrics, or raps bout materlistic thangs along wit killing muthafuckas wit there 4-5's lol, they dont ever take time ta keep it real...but i defitnly can tell u comin wit a strong message i love that..the only drawback is that it kinda was based off of pacs "dear mr president" song off of the Still I Rise album pac and the outlawz put out in 99...other than that i can tell that u defitnly put ur soul inta this...keep comin strong ma..always release ur true opinions in every audio, text, and poem that u do and u'll get major respect..muthafuckas really should quit sleepin on shit these dayz especially o.ms...o.ms CAN be dope if the real dope emcees on here take time ta do o.ms and leave feed on each others shit and stop biting shit and the open mic forum could be stronger than ever but werd keep this shit up...yo holla at me on aim if u ever wanna chat or sumthin "mc slayor"...holla anyways im out pc