Black Poet
|
IP:
I thought this was alright Tech, uping some vocab but don't really worry
about spellings at the moment its only a open mic.
I thought the story was well written, but kind of dragged you could have
gone into more depth with the Japanese attack.
Also on topicals try and paint a better picture, the smell of the plane when
it passed her the sounds,... more emotion.. if u know what I mean.
Flow was alright but u kind of lost it at times, and the end didnt rhyme, the
end let it down abit I know the topic is code red but u dont have to close
with it.
This was good so keep writing fams, if u wanna do a colab or something
holla at me.
Stay up
1~
|