^ I second that. This piece was very generic and underdeveloped the whole way through the piece. The vocabulary was just horrible. I mean, you can write with basic vocabulary but when you have all kinda of slang and grammatical errors and it doesnt some how relate to your concept then it just makes you look like a fool and you're poem boring to read. I mean, you started with 'Yo'... Lol, nooooooot the best way to lure in a reader. This felt more like a weak OM then poem. I dunno, keep trying though. I didnt really like anything in this... Sorry man, better luck next time.