Now sunk the mournful day; but mournful still,
The night that followed: and the rising morn is killed
But, as one soul had influenced every child,
A sullen stillness reigned. Resigned and mild

this was nice, the start i thought, was a bit choppy, but it picked up a nice flow which carried through the piece. well, i totally liked this, except it seemed like you were preaching at the end, and it kinda ruined it a little for me, just because the ending was cool, the start was cool...but i thought you shifted the tone a little in the middle, no biggie, it was a long piece....overall, it was definately worth the read...you have your own style which is good, and you make it work....i dunno, maybe just try and rhyme more syllables for a smoother flow....other than that, good piece, keep writing

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